Top 100 Simpsons Quotes!
- Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
- Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
- Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
- Homer: You don’t win friends with salad.
- Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
- Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel
- Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!
- ...sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works...
- Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
- Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
- I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
- The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
- Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
- I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
- Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
- That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!
- "I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"
- "America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"
- "Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
- "English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
- "It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have."